


he was doing so well.

by Anonymous



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eating Disorders, Lowercase, Self-Doubt, Self-Loathing, Swearing, Vomiting, gagging, sorry - Freeform, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28354104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: sorry for this. not having a good time right now.(I’ll write a summary later.)
Kudos: 48
Collections: Anonymous





	he was doing so well.

fuck.

he had been doing so well, too.

wilbur remained slumped on the bathroom floor, his slender body shaking due to the cold tiles of the floor, as well as the current situation he was going through.

hot, messy tears ran down his face, no audible noise leaking out of his throat as the guilt inside him became unbearable, twisting and turning his lungs until they felt like they were about to burst. he was so tired of crying over something so utterly stupid, but the guilt was far too much to bear with anymore.

he thought he was okay. he really did.

he thought that he would’ve lasted longer than this. he thought that it would’ve been a while before he made himself get sick again, by shoving his fingers down his throat until his fingernails scratched into the roof of his mouth to make him gag everything out that should have been kept back in. 

he glared at nothing, his knees pushing harder against his chest as the crying became harder to silence, the heavy breaths heaving out of his throat being so hard to keep in anymore. everything hurt, even though his throat should have been the most thanks to what he had just made himself do.

hands curled up to grab his curled hair before he couldn’t take it anymore, which resulted in him letting out one singular sob, before his mouth was covered by his own hands, his eyes now wide with fear.

fuck, FUCK. what the fuck was he thinking? why did he think that was a good idea?

wilbur didn’t have to wait long until he heard movement, since in no time at all, he was able to hear a bedroom door creaking open outside, as well as the quiet pattering of footsteps across the wooden planks that led to his own bedroom.

instinctively, he held himself tighter, his stomach trying to growl out for help which resulted in him pushing in even harder, which nearly made him gag on the spot.

silence blanketed the house as wilbur stayed where he was, tears twinkling in his tired eyes before they once again shot open wide, due to his door creaking open thanks to an unexpected visitor.

shit. he had to get out of here, fast. what the hell was in here that could help with that? 

the shower curtain? no, it’d make too much noise.

the doorway? it was too late to run now, no doubt about that. even though it looked like it was dark enough to where he wouldn’t be seen, it definitely wouldn’t take long before he was grabbed by the shirt by whoever was here.

w-

...

he was being stared at.

wilbur continued to stare down at his knees, the hazy fabric of his jeans immediately starting to make his eyes go funny, which in turn resulted in his eyes tearing up more than he wanted them to.

“...will?”

oh.

it was phil.

wilbur should’ve expected that, honestly. fucking idiot. that’s all he was. a fucking idiot.

he couldn’t even reply either, which only made him look more pathetic than he needed to right now. he refused to make eye contact as he heard phil walk into the bathroom, because honestly, what was the point? phil had nothing to gain from wilbur looking up at him expect seeing his broken expression and realise how utterly unfixable he truly was.

even when phil bent down and hugged him, whispering comforting words into his ear as he ruffled up his hair, he felt nothing. not even the delicate wings wrapping around his body from his father could make him feel any more special. nothing felt like it could bring him any joy anymore.

the guilt was leaking out of him and puddling on the floor, drowning both of them in his bad deed that could never be undone. he wished he could’ve lasted longer, honestly. he really, really did.

he had been doing so well.

until his world came crashing down thanks to his own fucking mistakes, leaving him in an fragile world that no longer needed his pathetic excuse for an existence, that is.

fucking hell. 

he wished he could hold his breath long enough just to let it all go. not even tears came out at this point anyway. just hopeless gasps and wheezes from his continued attempts of throwing his life away in his dad’s grasp.

with a harsh grab, phil was now holding him by the chin, forcing him to stare deep into his eyes as he scolded him for being so dangerously silly for wanting to throw his life away so easily.

wilbur didn’t want to give in, but he did. 

hopeless limbs clinged onto phil’s shoulders while he tried his hardest to cry, but even when he wanted to, nothing came out. just terrified, lost expressions like he had lost his own voice and didn’t know what to do anymore.

honestly, it wasn’t that far from the truth.


End file.
